First Grave on the Right Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

First Grave on the Right

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. —STEVEN WRIGHT

First Grave on the Right

Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.

First Grave on the Right

Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.

First Grave on the Right

Why do you suppose I’m here?” I asked him. Angel. A thirteen-year-old departed gangbanger. “Just ’cause you’re supposed to be, I guess.

First Grave on the Right

My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.” I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.” After a long pause in which he to...

First Grave on the Right

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

First Grave on the Right

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

First Grave on the Right

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

First Grave on the Right

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

First Grave on the Right

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

First Grave on the Right

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?" I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.

First Grave on the Right

You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.

First Grave on the Right

Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someo...

First Grave on the Right

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson

First Grave on the Right

La negación no es solo un rió en Egipto.

First Grave on the Right

I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking.” “I get it, Swopes. He’s not the kind of man you take home to meet your stepmom.” I rethought that. “Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would li...

First Grave on the Right

Wow,” Sussman said, “you look hot even with the slight disfigurement.” I stopped and turned toward him. “What did you say?” “Um, you look hot?” “Let me ask you something,” I said, easing closer. He took a wary step back. “When you...

First Grave on the Right