I had a dream about you. We made a good team, you and I, and I thought we were in love, but our coach didn’t agree. He tried saying he wanted to trade you to another team, but I said if he did that I’m going to take up competitive knitting. He knew I was serious, because the word on the street was that Weezer’s “The Sweater Song” was inspired by a legendary cat sweater I knitted.