I can't go on like this
You're not really in control, not with this falling-for-people stuff. You don't plan who you're going to fall in love with. It's all random - chance accidents of time and place.
It's funny isn't it, how everything's changing all time. Nothing stays still.
Some things get lost others return. That is how it is: the way of things.
Change & transformation. That kind of magic.
I don't believe in the white spectre-type of ghosts you get in stories, but what if ghosts are something else? Like memories somehow caught and trapped in time, released by being in certain places where things first happened.
There are lots of different ways grown-ups disappear. It's lonely being the one left behind.
Anyone else feel like that? Like your life's a big act. Like you're trying to be a man when you're just a scared kid, trying to keep under control when you really want to scream, cry, maybe hit someone. Ever feel like you're breathing underwater, and...
It's easier to fake it. When you fake it for sixteen years, it becomes part of you, something you don't think about.
