A blanket could be used to express my feelings towards her. You see, I’m not tired—but I am tired of her.
Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.
A blanket could be used to battle the cold, but not battle an army with swords, bayonets, and other sharp objects (unless the opposing army is armed only with sharp words).
A blanket could be used to say hello to a friend I haven’t spoken to in forever. Forever is a long time, like an eternity, only it feels like just yesterday I started ignoring this friend and acting like he never existed.
A blanket could be used to draw a map on—a treasure map, and not something Google has knowledge of. Want to know what’s under the X? My erection.
A blanket could be used to reduce the weight of love, by exactly one person. It’s a cold world out there.
A blanket could be used to say I’m sorry without using words, gestures, body language, facial expressions, or telepathy. I’ve always thought it was better to show than tell anyway, so I hope you can forgive me.
A blanket could be used to mimic the mating call of my crumpled-up clone. Isn’t silence seductive?
A brick could be used as a blanket, if you’re a roach or politician. Warmth can be so crushing at times.
A blanket could be used as a distraction. Wave it to the right, while you loot to the left.
A blanket could be used to keep an iceberg warm. People are so selfish and want to stop global warming. Well, if you were a snowman, and were cold all the time, wouldn’t you welcome a little summer into your winter?
A brick could be used as an AFD, or Atmospheric Floating Device, whose sole function is to make people ask WTF?
A blanket could be wrapped around people who’ve recently been electrocuted, because I’ll bet it’s really warm under those covers. I’ve always wanted to roast marshmallows in my sleep.
A blanket could be used to line the walls of the Love Chamber, to soundproof it so that nobody hears you scream.
A blanket could be used like Lenny McDenny says hello. He never says hi, because he only says goodbye. He’s always leaving and never arriving. I’m like that too, except I’m always arriving and never leaving. I also eat all the food in your frid...
A blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my heart for you. Or perhaps that’s merely heartburn, and you’re just as common as a brick.
Bricks could be used to replace stop signs. Some people won’t stop at stop signs, but everybody will stop for a brick wall.
A brick and a blanket walk into a bar. And I don’t drink, so I wasn’t around to hear the interaction between them and the bartender.
