Here are five rules of thumb, should all your fingers on one hand turn into thumbs and you decide to rule them. 1. There is no day too dull, no problem too great that cannot be fixed with a couple of plays of 'rush rush' by Paula Abdul. 2. The amount of time it takes for you to get over him is exactly the same amount of time it will take for him to start missing you. 3. Talking about exercise burns exactly the same amount of calories as doing exercise. 4. 'When someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES!' 5. The office sucks. Four of these are true. And one - is wrong! Damn wrong!