At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it. Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Politics isn’t dirty. And neither are politicians. No, politicians are filthy.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I like when wind works. But in this depression, does anything work? If it’s not unemployed, it’s broken. When I hear the politicians talk, all I hear is them breaking wind through their mouths.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

You vote Democrat even if you vote Republican, because they’re two sides of the same coin. So stop flipping that coin. The illusion of controlling the outcome of the coin toss is why we’re all poorer.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Arlington National cemetery is huge! But that’s not surprising, because DC is the world’s largest graveyard of good ideas and intentions. Politicians are natural hunters. If there is a good and productive thing, they will surely kill it.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I find politicians’ speeches moving. Sometimes I don’t even pack up before forever leaving their vicinity.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Let’s say you’re a politician. You’re still you, but you are an elected official. In other words, in this scenario, you get to keep your intelligence, integrity, loyalty, and honesty, whereas any other politician in real life would be totally v...

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I want to be a politician because I like the idea of public service. Come on, who wouldn’t want all the people at their service? I’d get to live like a king, only I’d be voted in by my servants, rather than by God. And by God life would be good...

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

This is what I believe to be the progress of a writer. You write 10 things, of which one of them will be great. You then write 11 things, of which two of them will be great. Then you write 12 things, of which four of them will be great. Then you writ...

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

It’s like Mark Twain once said to his wife, Olivia: “How many times do I have to say it—over the top!” He wasn’t talking about women being overly dramatic. He was in fact referring to the proper placement of toilet paper. And I agree to a c...

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I’m quoting my clone, because he quoted me thinking if I said it, he said it. He thought he was quoting himself when he quoted me. So in effect I’m quoting myself quoting myself, with my clone as a source of what I wrote.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Orafoura doesn’t know shit about what I said, said Orafoura, quoting The Mythical Mr. Boo to me about the shit that’s been said about him.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I wanted to make love in the rain, but owing to unfavorable (or, rather favorable) weather conditions, I took to the shower as a suitable substitute.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Dr. Chuck “Chuckles” Gigglebrooks, lead researcher at the National Association of Laughter Studies, had this conclusion to draw about why people laugh: “It’s fun!” I only hope it didn’t take a government grant to achieve this scientific b...

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I invented underwear with only one leg hole, for people who like to concentrate on frozen orange juice while bungee jumping from a tampon string.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

He’s got the curly Irish hair. You can’t eat him because he might be your father, and you’ll spoil your dinner.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Half is 15%, if 30% is 100%.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

My name is Sam (my name is Am), and I am my own fan. I’m a clone of Jarod Kintz, and he supports my message.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

If I were a box of cereal, I wouldn’t want to talk about myself any more than I do now. Just flip me over and read all about me if you’re curious. Everything you need to know is printed right on my ass.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.