Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal—all those places perfect for dying of exposure.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola.
I try not to laugh too loud, afraid a bark-like noise will be mistaken by any great whites lurking in the area as the distress call of a juvenile seal.
I have a totally unhealthy and unrealistic fear of being eaten by a great white shark. This is because I belong to a very specific demographic called American Child Whose Parents Made the Ill-Advised Decision To Allow Her To Watch the Movie Jaws At a...
Locals. They’ll eventually get out. They’re annoyed. Like when Americans go to the lake. And it’s closed. ‘Cause some kid pooped in the water.
Hey…you don’t look like a rabbit.
I grimace, thinking someone should come up with a new phrase for 'I left the ocean without a kiwi-sized chunk of my lower-left butt cheek' to replace the rather nebulous term 'exploratory bite.
Australians are descended from a boatload of English convicts, right? So two hundred years in isolation at the bottom of the planet is plenty of time for the language to evolve into some sort of double-speak prison slang.
How was I supposed to know ‘lucked out’ means ‘I got screwed over’ in Australian?
So you went back to your friend’s next donkament two weeks later, and this time you just laughed right along when they gave you that framed picture of the poker hands. And when they called you ‘pigeon,’ ‘fish,’ and ‘muppet,’ you just sm...
Alice, you might be the product of the biggest ball of ignorance, confidence, and good fortune the universe has ever manufactured. But if you’re thinking that you can take your results at the virtual tables and your grand tactic of Ignorance Is Bli...
Alice? You didn’t get this far without realizing that you don’t have to cheat to win. You just have to accept that people are easily manipulated.
Little Alice fell d o w n the hOle, bumped her head and bruised her soul
Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.
I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
Cat: Where are you going? Alice: Which way should I go? Cat: That depends on where you are going. Alice: I don’t know. Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.
have i gone mad? im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.
