A brick and a blanket walk into a bar Quotes

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I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and become them. 


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

The word “Building” makes a completed structure seem under construction. Once a building is finished, it should be called a “Built.” Similarly, a brick is complete in and of itself, but it is also a part of the process of building, and a part...

A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket could be used as a sail for my self-esteem when I’m floating upstream on the turbulent river of my subconscious. Some of my thoughts can be quite windy, gusts with gusto, like a hurricane sneeze in your face. You could also use that blank...

A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A brick is used to label a missed shot in basketball. However, a better term to call a missed shot, or any shot in basketball, would be a “Movado,” because it’s a waste of time. Instead of spending your free time trying to put a ball in a net, ...

A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket is a coffin, if the cops are after you and you have to dump a body quick.


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket, no matter how thin, could be sliced thinner, and in this way one blanket could be used to keep a multitude of people warm. But not that warm.


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket can be rolled up, much like I roll up my emotions when I listen to political rhetoric.


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A brick could be a breath freshener for a dragon. But so could a mint-flavored baby. 


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket could be used as a trap to ensnare two entangled lovers. Using this method is how I found my current girlfriend and my new best guy friend.


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket could be used to show love, by providing warmth, comfort, and an itchiness of desire that cannot be satisfied by a single scratch. 


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A brick could be your new best friend. If this appeals to you, it’s probably because people tend to seek the company of others who posses similar intellects and interests. And as I have just begun demonstrating, a brick can be very interesting inde...

A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A brick could be utilized to teach the danger of procrastination. Ignoring the brick and pretending everything will work itself out is not going to transform it into a wall. 


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket could be hung on your living room wall, and watched instead of nightly news. Not only would it be more honest, but it also would be more entertaining and thought provoking.


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick f...

A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re having boring, obligatory sex with your spouse, who’s as dry and exciting as a sack of flour. 


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA, it would be boring. But compared to boxing, it would be downright thrilling. 


A brick and a blanket walk into a bar

A blanket can be a statement—a generalization and truism covering a multitude of categories, like corruption, ineptitude, ignorance, arrogance, greed, and sloth—which would all fall under the blanket of “Politics.

A brick and a blanket walk into a bar