99 Cents For Some Nonsense Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

People call me “Mustache,” because I have an eyebrow on my upper lip. When I close my lips it’s like a wink and a kiss combined. It’s like lust overload.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Lie to me. Just to console my soul.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Contribute to No More Lies Dot Org. Every dollar you donate will bring us 75 cents closer to the truth.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I don’t belong to a political party, because I don’t feel invited.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I’d race my motorcycle across the ocean just to avoid swimming in the desert. Ladies, I hope this indicates what kind of lover I’d make.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I made her late, so she made me dinner. And by late I mean pregnant. And by dinner I mean marry her.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The only time I’ll eat Italian wedding soup is if I’m wearing a tuxedo and eating with a priest.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

If my name were Theodore Tiffany, my goal in life would be to meet and marry a woman named Tiffany Theodore. I adore that idea.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The only thing I have left to remember her by is the scent of her perfume. I just broke into her car and stole the bottle.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

See men run. Semen swim.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

How to get money: earn it, steal it, borrow it, beg for it, or inherit it. So, who do I have to kill to get rich?

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

My name is Mr. Raingold. But please, call me Money Showers.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Wealth—one billion, two billion, what’s the difference? The difference is one billion—the same difference as flat broke, like me, and one billion.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I murdered all my staff. I’m terribly sorry. I thought they were someone else (my wife).

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Ziploc bag.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

If I ever decide to kill you, you’d be the first to know about it. (And hopefully the only person to know about it).

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The outer bands of the tropical storm didn’t play as good of music as the inner bands near the eye did.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I want to meddle with an Olympic medal made of silver metal. I want to alchemize it into gold, and use a mixture of science and mysticism to transform losing into winning.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense