99 Cents For Some Nonsense Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Backing yourself into a corner is a terrible strategy, in that it leaves you nowhere to run. But it’s brilliant in that it brings out the fierce in you, because you are forced to fight.


99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

A flower blooms in my heart. You may call that love, but I call it water conservation.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I am but a flower. Do with me what thou wilt.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

An award would be more prestigious if it came with a supplemental income for a year, so you could focus on repeating your title.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

After about eight hours, I lose my focus and all of the sudden I find myself not being able to sleep at all. It’s as if I’ve temporarily lost my skill for laying still and doing nothing.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I’ll wait until your mouth is full of food before I ask you a question. That’s just the kind of gentleman I am.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

A writer must be a lifelong reader to be good. And if you want to be a great writer, I’d suggest trying to live a long life by reading the ingredients of the foods you buy.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The best part about vomiting is that right after you do, you can continue eating.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Yes, ma’am, I will take seconds. Your dinner tastes like excrement. I scream, you scream, we all scream for excrement.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

At the Peabody Hotel, you’ll find two things: a pea and a body. Was it murder by starvation? Come spend the night and decide for yourself.


99 Cents For Some Nonsense

When I go out to eat at restaurants, I don’t like chains. I prefer whips.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

A figure 8 doesn’t figure into my plans to live to infinity.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Yesterday is as ancient as a millennia ago, because both are forever out of reach.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

While all men want to be free, some want to be free to think what they want, and other men want to be free from the burden of free thought. These men seek freedom through slavery.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I ran across an old friend of mine yesterday, and I didn’t even attempt to hit the brakes.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Grab life by the tail, and then pet it.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

50 bucks sounds fair to me. Especially since I’m not doing anything to earn it.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense