99 Cents For Some Nonsense Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, just in case I have to pee quickly (at above 65 miles per hour).

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

There are days when I don’t know how I live with myself. Those days are Sundays through Saturdays.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Awards represent achievement, and to an extent they show more about who you are as a person than the personal items you picked out and purchased, because they show desire, ambition, goals, and accomplishment.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I don’t like the term “Average Joe.” I prefer “Dolly,” because not only is the Everyman a sheep, but he’s also a clone. They all think alike and act alike.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The time to act is now! Somebody go get the Director.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Take my advice and don’t take my advice.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I’m older today than yesterday, and therefore I must be more mature.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I like to fantasize about how far I’ll have come in a year. A year from now, I’ll be 12 months further than where I am today. And the most impressive part is I don’t really have to work hard for it. I just have to keep waking up.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Wrinkles don’t signify old age, they signify a lack of ironing skills or a dearth of hangers to hang clothes on.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I left Mermaid’s Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Gin is a confusing drink. It’s the only liquid that’s both wet and dry.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Even though I buried our love in a coffin, it isn’t dead. No, our love is very much alive. Or at least it was yesterday, when I went to visit the cemetery.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

The Rockies are the backbone of this country. And I’m no doctor, but I think we have scoliosis.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Freedom tastes like strawberries, vanilla, and blueberries. And it smells like my armpits. Huff it up, America.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

My friend Angela, she’s no angel. But my friend Demonica, she’s aptly named.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I’m angry as hell. I’m angry for all the people who should be angry but aren’t, either because they’re too stupid or too timid.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense

I have a responsibility as a human being to care for animals—including politicians.

99 Cents For Some Nonsense